Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
