I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
