a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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