for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
