Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
zippers are such a cool invention
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
