I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
