i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
