There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
