how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
