I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
oh god was she eating orange peels again
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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