No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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