why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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