Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Randomize
