he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
