Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
