I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
