is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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