He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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