I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
