Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
