pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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