haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
