grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
