Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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