So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
