You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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