It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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