Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Randomize
