the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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