youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
