Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
