We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
