So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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