so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
