Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
