you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
