This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
