i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
