And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Randomize
