why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
