if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
