if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
