It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I was not drunk enough for that final.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
