i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
