Only a mothe r could love this liver
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize