HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
