Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
