break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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