I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
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