I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
