Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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