i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
