If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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