she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
