Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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