I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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