I forgot how hot balto sounded
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
OPIZZABONMYDICK
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
