There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
