i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
